Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart Fired from "New Moon"!

There have been reports that Twilight stars Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart have been fired from "New Moon," the sequel to the successful teen-vampire drama.

Producers have cited the gross lack of professionalism of the pair. Said one anonymous source close to the production: "Robert Pattinson had been peen a pain in the a** since filming started. He actually thinks he's Edward Cullen-- he hired Michael Jackson's dermatologist to get that scary pale look 24/7 and ordered deer blood to replace his bottled water. He also commanded the production staff to burn all DVD's of Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire"

Said another producer: "We let Kristen Stewart go because she had major insecurity issues and it was getting in the way of filming. She had her agent force the special effects team to make her look like Paris Hilton, sound like Miley Cyrus and controversial like Rihanna. She actually welcomed our move because it gave her the chance to accept the role for High School Musical 5."

The producers said that they are replacing Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart with Rupert Grint (aka Ron Weasley) and Lindsay Lohan respectively.

April Fools!

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